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Boo [May. 6th, 2005|10:34 pm]
[mood |amusedamused]
[music |Queen adreena]

hello, becci, glad you could join us
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a big fuck you [May. 6th, 2005|05:20 pm]
[mood |bitchybitchy]
[music |dir en grey]

I know now how much you don't care
So just turn and walk away
Everything you say seems like a facade
To lead me on another day
Your soul so shallow, your spirit made of spite
To think I tried to care
For someone who used me and threw me away
It's a thought I cannot bear

Your fake wall has crashed around your feet
And now I see your true face
A face I once used to love
Has now turned to a face of waste
You feign confusion at your trivial problems
In an attempt to get a second glance
Yet you left me after I cared so much
Without even a second chance

I've grown sick of you pretending to care
Yet you just give me one-word replies
I refuse to be yet another person
To believe another one of your lies
So just turn around and walk away from me
And don't bother looking back
Because my compassion and care for you
Is just another thing you lack
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ok now im annoyed [May. 5th, 2005|06:00 pm]
[mood |annoyedannoyed]
[music |queen adreena/under a floorboard world]

i get home just after saying goodbye to becci, and then i tell her when i get in i will, get online, so i get online, and fucking msn is down, it says unable to log you in, there is to many people online, wtf, meh its so crappy, ok ranting finished
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my poem for a new begining [May. 2nd, 2005|01:00 pm]
[mood |anxiouscompletly]
[music |saliva / the world is after me]

Cutting is my cry for help my way to make you notice
But still I fool you with my lies, your eyes are out of focus
You must be stupid, you must be blind
You can’t see into me and the truth within my mind

What next must I do to make you understand?
Maybe attempts at suicide just like I always planned
People who attempt realise before they close their eyes
That all their troubles can be fixed and they don’t want to die

I don’t want to die, I just want to be saved to know I do exist
I want someone to see my lying bleeding from slit wrists
And then I will have hope again, my life will be restored
And you will see this happy boy just like the time before

But what if no one saves me? What if I do die?
Then I’ll be this fallen angel, who cannot even fly
Looking back on a wasted life instead of one fulfilled
And knowing that no one cared my soul will then be killed

I then I know I’ll hate you and I hope you’ll feel the guilt
And that your life will then be smashed with all you ever built
Why are you so blind? And god you are deaf too!
I weep so loudly and cry to sleep wishing this life weren’t true

For these are the tears that cry through my mask
Stories so cold, so twisted and dark
They cry through the pages the death and despise
Showing the truth in this book of lies

But you never even noticed, you never even tried
You never saw nothing from the corner of your eye
Never seeing the trouble that lurked within my mind
Now I really do wish that I really would just die

There always comes a day when all our tears have dried
And no more is the lonesome nights when we’ve cried and cried
And as our hearts turn to stone our feelings do subside
It is the day we dreaded where we know our souls have died
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camping [Apr. 11th, 2005|01:33 pm]
[mood |anxiousanxious]
[music |my chemical romance / honey this mirror isnt big enough]

we is all going camping this coming friday, me, debbie, holly, grr, and jam, all out at charmouth, it will be fun and we is getting loads of alchohol including absinthe, but no drugs :( but oh well, shud be fun all the same, if everything goes allright, but i keep thinking it wont, wich then makes me feel all meh, but anyways, im gonna try and not to think like that for the rest of the time
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meh [Apr. 5th, 2005|12:31 pm]
[mood |boredbored]
[music |cradle of filth/ nymphetamine]

ok i really dont no what to say, and i really cant be botherd to say anything, cause everything that i will say will end up being heard by the person i am speaking about anyway, so there is really no point in ranting, so fuck it, meh
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just going to download [Feb. 4th, 2005|12:38 pm]
[mood |cheerfulcheerful]
[music |koda kumi--1000 no kataba]

well i was talking to my dad the other day, and we was talking away and then we started talking about drugs and such stuff, and then we came across magic mushrooms, and he saked me if i wanted any, lmoa

anyways i is going to go with charlie and natt to download in june, yipeee is so kool, just got to get money together for it, and that means no spending it, and i find that if i dont spend it, it will feel all lonely on its own, but i will try my hardest not to, lol

also asked debbie if she wanted to go with, but she was like i aint so sure, it is really big and stuff, i was like it will be ok and you will have really good time, but anyways, if she dont go it will be ok, so far charlie ses that s.o.a.d will be there so that is kool and that is all i no that is playing there yet

i just hope that otep is playing there that would be fucking awesome, or slipknot,or ill nino, or spinshank, or, actually i will shut up now, lol

i seen that elle was going on about that new band that the dude from busted (cant believe that i just put the word busted on my lj) is in, his new band called fightstar, is quite good me kinda like them, i downloaded some of there songs the other day.

i aslo dont no why i am putting this in here but i got 193 songs in my playlist, i was actually shocked to see that i had downloaded so many songs, well apart from the evanescence album, anywhere but home, i only put that on my comp for danny, cause i told her about a song they do that is a cover song from korn, and she asked me if i could send it to her on msn, and so i had to put it on my comp to do it, lol, and now i am just ramblin.

ok me is finished me thinks

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me is cold [Feb. 3rd, 2005|06:03 pm]
[mood |coldcold]
[music |angelzoom/ fairyland]

me is going to go to download in june, how kick ass is that?
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eeeeee i am happy for no reason [Jan. 19th, 2005|12:07 am]
[mood |bouncyand half asleep]
[music |tears of time, by crematory]

right, i am really tired but i cant be botherd to sleep, so then i have a problem, i am downloading loads of things instead, here is what they are...ff x-2 1000 words...ff x-2 real emotion...mnemic (thats a band not a disease)...ghost in the shell opening music...z.o.e kiss me sunlights...fma ending song...fma opening song...fma episode 29...the japanese versions of ff x-2 1000 words and real emotion...vampire hunter d bloodlust, and that is it at the moment, tis alot, but lucky for me the sonngs dont take no longer than 3 min, so yayness.

the dude from airsoft is coming down soon, and i added him to my buddies list on msn, and i was talking to him the other day, and he said to me what is it like living in kent...lmao, he thought that kelly tim and grr,luke and me all lived in kent, i was like no we live in yeovil, apart from luke, lol it would of been so funny if he went to kent

tis kool, holly ses that she liked my latest poem, she ses that it is the best one she has ever read of mine, i was like eeeeee kool, also she got replys from some post poems thing, wich was kool.
and ahhhh those pics of me elle put on her journal is just plain bad, they is awfull, im kinda pissed in some of them, lmao

oh well really dont no what else to say, so i will finish it here

byebye *waves goodbye*
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(no subject) [Jan. 12th, 2005|03:31 am]
[mood |sleepysleepy]
[music |the things in my head, *ssshhhh gotta be quiet*]

ok so its 4 in the morning what the fuck shall i type...................um how about how i cant sleep, there we go, although thats pretty obvious.

okay so debbie is sleeping in my bed and i cant get to sleep, if i try i will wake her up and dont want to do that, so im gonna fuck around on here, fuck it im so bord, what the fuck do i talk about........oh hey i no elle what happend to your journal?

yesterday we went to the cinema to see white noise, um wasnt anything special, but then what do you expect from the so called horror films of today, not saying they is all shit, but most of them is.

lmao im rambling on about a film someone save me.

the end, meh
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